Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples

Most couples come in fighting about the same things over and over. Money, parenting, intimacy, communication. But the surface argument is rarely the real argument. Underneath the conflict is usually something that looks more like fear, like longing, like the feeling of not being seen or reached by the person you love most. EFT is designed to get there.

What EFT actually is

Emotionally Focused Therapy was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and is one of the most extensively researched approaches to couples therapy. The core idea is that relationship distress is often about attachment, the deep human need to feel securely connected to a partner, and that conflict is what happens when that connection feels threatened.

In EFT, we work to identify the negative cycle you're caught in, the pattern of pursuit and withdrawal, or distance and demand, that leaves both of you feeling alone. Then we work to interrupt it and build something new: a way of turning toward each other instead.

What sessions look like

We slow things down. Instead of debating who's right about the dishes or the calendar, we look at what's happening emotionally underneath those arguments. What gets triggered. What you need but can't quite ask for. What your partner is trying to say that isn't coming out right.

It's careful work. But it's the kind that changes how you actually experience each other, not just how you communicate.

Who EFT is for

Couples who feel stuck in the same arguments. Couples who have grown distant and aren't sure how to close the gap. Couples navigating betrayal, major transitions, or the slow erosion of connection over time. Couples who still love each other and want to find their way back.

I see couples in Issaquah, Sammamish, North Bend, Snoqualmie, and across the Eastside. Telehealth is available throughout Washington. Schedule a free 15-minute call to talk about where you are.